burn

turn

churn

She awoke wrapped in a sheet. She frowned and rubbed her temple, uncoiling from the bed she went to make coffee.

At the kettle, a sharp voice broke the silence 'make me a coffee.' And another raspy voice, 'make too'. Her stepsisters were bitches, they connived, and were rank favourites to her alcoholic stepfather. Her father died impaled on a ski when she was five, and her mother died from falling on a cactus when she was 15.

She made the coffees, and went into the first bedroom. Clothes everywhere, a cocaine crusted mirror lay by the bed. From the heaped bed a hand snatched out. The coffee slopped, and the sister snarled at her.

In the second bedroom a fuggy smell. The stepsister had fallen back to sleep, bloated and sweaty her large lips with crack pipe burns foamed with every exhale. The stepsister awoke and rasped 'can't you fuckin nock, get out'.

Later her stepfather got up, she could hear him stumbling over old beer cans around the couch. He yelled to the sisters. Her stepfather lay on the couch, idly scratching his massive gut. When all the sisters were present, he appraised them with his beady eyes. 'Out drinking I aquired Ed Sheeran backstage pass tickets.' He pulled tickets out of his grimed tracksuit pants.

The stepsisters grabbed at the tickets. There was one backstage pass left, he paused, 'you're too bony to be attractive to Ed, but here'. He thrust the ticket at her. Later she could hear the stepsisters cackling as they laid plans to entrap Ed Sheeran.

That evening she helped one stepsister tighten a corset until her bulging flesh pressurised into shape. For the other she shifted rancid clothing until her stepsister was satisfied with the shortness of her skirt and the length of her teetering heels. The two stepsisters left early to start drinking, leaving her alone to get ready. She missed the her dead Mum.

She found a simple blue cotton dress. She was late, she grabbed a few dollars from her secret savings and ran for a bus.

The crashing beat could be heard down the street, it was the opening act, some local cokeheads doing covers.

At the gate she showed her backstage pass. She was ushered into a special back room. Several staff were there and one stepsister in heels feverishly talking. She was ignored, powder leaked from her nose.

The cover band finished, and they swaggered into the back room all leather and sweat. The stepsister strutted over to them, perilous in her high heels. Eyes glassy and talking rapidly as she approached them. The grimy bassist stepped forward 'wadda ya want'. She yelled 'you’ and moving towards him started to frantically grind her pelvis, falling forwards on her heels. The force of her knocked him back, she was surrounded by security. Piercing and angry she was removed.

Relieved at the quiet she found a seat in the corner. Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she heard a voice ask, 'ok if I sit here.' She assented and looking over it was none other than Ed Sheeran. Her heart fluttered, what to say? He smiled warmly at her 'would you like some pineapple? I always like to eat pineapple before a show, it clears the throat.' He proffered her a bowl.

She reached for a piece of pineapple, a rasping shriek filled the room. 'EDDD SHHHHeeeerannnnn', her other stepsister in all her corseted monstrosity had been drinking heavily. The stepsister strode across the room parting people in her way. 'Ohhhh Eddddy I love you'. She spun and tottered accidentally slapping the pineapple across the room. The stepsister lunged for the bowl, the force of the movement causing her corset to give way. Layers of bloated flesh ruptured through a wide tear. The stepsister with wodges of dirty pineapple in hand, tit and flab lolling out of her torn dress made a move for Ed. Security grabbed her, marching the sister out.

She was so embarrassed, tearfully she apologised 'I'm so sorry'. Ed looked at her warmly, 'it's not your fault, all sorts of mad people in the world'. She nodded, biting her lip, then said 'may I make amends and get you some more pineapple?' Ed Sheeran looked thoughtful, and said 'actually that would be lovely, I need to go on now, but would love to have some in between songs.'

While he went out to start his performance, she nipped down to the shops, grabbing some fresh pineapple from an all-night grocer. She made it back in time to see Ed Sheeran emerge halfway through his performance. Happy and listening to the cheers of the crowd they ate the pineapple together. Pausing he said 'I need to go back out now but thank you. I've caused you to miss the show. I don't suppose I could offer for you to come to the next couple of shows.' He paused 'We'd pay you of course, its just my assistant is sick.' She was so happy she had to nod through her tears.

Ed went out to finish the show, and she sat and finished the pineapple. She was so helpful over the next week, that when the assistant got better, they made her a special part time position. She could not have been happier, and Ed Sheeran always had a special smile for her.